Hello Assholes!

[Melvin Fervish]

Since you all seem to enjoy making fun of me and my family so much, I thought I'd give you a thrill and check in. And what a surprise! About a million threads making fun of my mother, her weight problem, myself, and even nuns. You're really on a run! In the spirit of this shitty site, I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine and make fun of you!

Hugo Cockley: You culdn't write a comeback if it was dictated to you.

"Professor Chaos": shittiest nickname ever! Your writing stinks. Fuck you, pal. You're on my shitlist now for making fun of mom!

Oompy Loompy: Pathetic chaos hanger-on.

Jam Burgler: couldn't scratch his way out of a litter box.

[Oomp Daa Daa]

You shouldn't make fun of JB's scratching. He has a serious problem. Its called Itchititillitits and it looks really painful. See Exhibit B:



Prof. Chaos is just in this to make a quick buck. He sells his web space and your personal info to advertisers and market trackers.

And Hugo, he is just upset that the old folk's homes just don't hold water like they used to.

But you are right about me. I live in a trailer in East Baltimore. I don't even have a telephone. I have to to the library just to get on the AOL. Pretty pathetic, I am. But you can still

[Jam Burgler]

I have a newfound respect for you Melvin.

[His Honorable Professor Chaos]

Melvin, I see you've been paying attention!



Congrats, you're now the most chaotic bastard on the board.