hate

[chaosjunkies]

Dear Professor chaos.

I recently became aware of your link to my band's website--that is, CHAOS JUNKIES.com. I was initially shocked, but thoroughly flattered to be the object of your criticisms. However, I had to chuckle at the methods you use to spread chaos. Message boards online can sure be informative, but honestly, who cares about your opinion? I'm not hurt by your words, merely amused. This may sound "geeky", but after all I am returning your hate mail via online message board. The nature of the medium is "geeky". If I were a very sarcastic person, I would tell you how much chaos is really to be had on the internet. But in reality, the hypocrisy of your opinion gives me great pleasure. How chaotic are you? I challenge you to show us how chaotic you really are--professor. I'm secure with my identity as a chaos junkie, but for some reason I doubt that you stand on any kind of high ground from which to accuse. Please show us what you're made of. I dare you.

Lou
CHAOS JUNKIES

[Professor]

Haha. Nice Lou. I've been looking for a challenge for a while now. I've become a bit less chaotic as of late and this is just what I need to shed my malaise.

Well for starters, check out my piece on chaos teases.
www.mastersofchaos.com/teases.htm

Stay tuned for a more thorough lambasting of your band, "Chaos Junkies".

[His Honorable Professor Chaos]

done!

www.mastersofchaos.com/chaos_junkies.htm

[Jam Burgler]

Sure, you guys call yourselves a "band", but do you even scratch?

[chaosjunkies]

Dearest Professor,

You just don't understand, do you? You sit in front of your computer and criticize--and that's chaos? Pictures of train wrecks, tsunami damage: other people's pain--that's chaos? Chaos is existence. Everything that happens is perfect chaos, and that's the kind of music we play. Of course, you didn't listen to the music (try right clicking on the MP3 file and selecting "save target as") you just criticize. And you didn't even see the humor in the pictures! They're self-consciously absurd. So enjoy your useless little webstite, or maybe try getting off your stupid computer and going outside. I'm sure your legions of admiring minions will find a way to survive without your wisdom. Oh, and if you can't understand my writing--Professor-- maybe you should pick up a book and learn to read. Peace out, wanker.

Lou
CHAOS JUNKIES

[Jam Burgler]

chaosjunkies said:

Dearest Professor,

You just don't understand, do you? You sit in front of your computer and criticize--and that's chaos? Pictures of train wrecks, tsunami damage: other people's pain--that's chaos? Chaos is existence. Everything that happens is perfect chaos, and that's the kind of music we play. Of course, you didn't listen to the music (try right clicking on the MP3 file and selecting "save target as") you just criticize. And you didn't even see the humor in the pictures! They're self-consciously absurd. So enjoy your useless little webstite, or maybe try getting off your stupid computer and going outside. I'm sure your legions of admiring minions will find a way to survive without your wisdom. Oh, and if you can't understand my writing--Professor-- maybe you should pick up a book and learn to read. Peace out, wanker.

Lou
CHAOS JUNKIES

GO LOU GO!

[Jam Burgler]

And correct me if I'm wrong, but you did say "peace out" didn't you? Do you MC? Do you want to get up and start a sort of Dave Mathews v. Outkast v. DJ Stab Master Arson type hip-hop rock thing? Goatee Metal Rap? For real, we can do this. What it do?

[His Honorable Professor Chaos]

chaosjunkies said:

Dearest Professor,
And you didn't even see the humor in the pictures!

Lou
CHAOS JUNKIES

Lou I actually saw lots of humor in your pictures.

Sorry you asked me to make fun of your shitty band and now your panties are all knotted up.

[FiNN]

I love this guy,

He reminds me of one of those goth kids on South Park.... "Chaos is existence"... as he takes a drag from his cigarette and flicks his hair back. Those pictures aren't "self-consciously absurd", they're just gay.

And don't use the term "perfect chaos",... I didn't think a human being could pussify a word so much , I was wrong. But I get what your striving to explain.. Sonic Youth,... that's "Perfect Chaos". Godspeed you Black Emperor... that's "Perfect Chaos". Chaos Junkies... that's douche. Don't take yourself so serious...

Don't get me wrong,... a man's got a right to defend himself from unwanted attacks. I gave you respect homie, up until you whipped this out:

"Oh, and if you can't understand my writing--Professor-- maybe you should pick up a book and learn to read. Peace out, wanker."


WHAT ARE YOU, ...FUCKING 5? You might as well as told him your daddy can beat up his daddy. I can just imagine you and your "band" giving each other high-fives, congratulating each other with praise, saying shit like "Wicked dude, you nailed him.", or Wow Lou, your so wise and brave. Take that Proffessor!!!,.. hey add wanker, it will show how worldy and punk we truly are. CHAOS... CHAOS... CHAOS...Oi...Oi...Oi!!!

Also, please don't criticize someone's literary prowess and vapid vocabulary when one of your lyrics is "Me got to think..." That shit is embarrassing.

[Jam Burgler]

Perfect chaos? I think I'm going to be sick.